I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize