you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
