If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
