all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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