I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
