Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize