if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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