I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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