im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
