I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
COCAINE IS GR8
Damn victory sex feels great
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
