I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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