By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
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I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
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So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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