Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
