Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize