your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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