Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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