Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
