Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
