I hope mine doesn't look like that
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
