well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
