If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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