I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
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You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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