She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
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I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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