i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
