**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
