im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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