The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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