you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize