Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
