she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
