I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
