All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
