I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
