Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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