dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm always down for nudity.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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