Your tits are I can't wait for
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
