just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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