i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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