Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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