he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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