and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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