16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well most of my day revolves around power hour
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
