i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
