It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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