I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This house was built for laser tag.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
