My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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