bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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