I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize