How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
