Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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