Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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