I skipped work to stalk him.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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