tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
