Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
