Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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