I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
