so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
