I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
