we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
