I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
